I spent eleven months freelancing. During that time I was registered with approximately twenty different recruitment agencies, signed up for many more job websites and sent my CV out to at least several handfuls of potential employers. I wasn't desperate for work; being my own boss was AWESOME and I got to go to really important business meetings all the time and agree with everything I said. I just wanted to make myself available in case something good came along, something that I might otherwise have missed out on.
In that eleven months I spoke to an actual human recruiter three times. Three times in almost a year of being registered. One recruiter offered me the chance to go for a part-time role in a call centre, another said I would be 'great for the position, so long as I was willing to work for half of what I was after and could commute,' and the third told me that they would be working 'tirelessly' until I was employed in the role of my dreams. Yay!
Needless to say they weren't all that helpful, and when I decided that I couldn't actually afford to be my own awesome boss anymore I found a job by going out and getting one myself. I've now been doing that job for three weeks, approximately 10 months less than the time I spent being self-employed, and a weird thing has happened...
...I've been spoken to by an actual human recruiter almost every day. Suddenly my CV is incredibly appealing to people who previously didn't want to know. I'm being considered for every job going, I'm being put forward for interviews for any position that becomes available and my phone is ringing with a surprising consistency. All of this for me to have to say, 'Sorry, I actually have a job now... Where the hell were you when I needed you, you knobs?' I don't really say the last bit; I have an excellent phone manner and would have rocked that job in the call centre if I'd been willing to sell my soul, but the urge to shout at them is strong enough to warrant it. It's like they're me and I'm a girl, and they don't realise they like girl me until I've been taken by somebody else. That was an odd metaphor to use. Let's pretend it didn't happen.
If you're a recruiter and you're reading this; well done. You've managed to do things backwards and that is quite a trick to master. I don't need you now; I'm doing fine, and I'd appreciate it if you just got over me and moved on with your life. We're over. What we had was fun, but it was never going to last if you only spoke to me three times in a year...
