It all started out as a friend request,
innocent, chummy and fine.
I clicked 'accept' and sat and watched,
their updates appear next to mine.
Everything was okay and I had no complaints,
they clicked like on a few of my jokes.
But then, it emerged, they were awful and, well,
our Facebook themed friendship, it broke.
Their dog is not cute even when wearing hats,
the weather is not that exciting.
Their relationship status changes all the time,
the STIs they have must be frightening.
They hate their job and foreigners too,
who 'come over here' and 'steal their work.'
They'd happily quit and live on the dole,
so long as 'bloody immigrants' get none of those perks.
Every other day it's another rubbish picture,
shared from another rubbish site.
Rumour has it if I don't share it too,
a girl will come and kill me at night.
I can't live with that pressure so I fear they must go,
getting murdered over engagement seems unjust.
So farewell to the spam and the casual racism,
one less 'Happy Birthday mate!' is a must.
