The Problems With Being a Copywriter

I was approximately 6 months old when I decided I wanted to be a copywriter. Of course I wasn't consciously aware that I had made this decision but part of me must have known because it made me rubbish at everything else for the rest of my life. Never mind. It's a decision I am happy with for the most part   until, occasionally, just when you think everything will be alright, you're reminded that no-one else thinks it's a real job. I present to you, the problems with being a copywriter.

PEOPLE DON'T THINK IT'S A REAL JOB.

'So that's all you do? You just write things? You just put words on paper all day and then sit in at night and watch CSI: Miami and you're happy with that? That's your day? That's your LIFE? Hahaha, anyone could do that. Get a real career, bro.'

PEOPLE THINK YOU WILL DO YOUR FAKE JOB FOR FREE.

'Hey how are you? I know it's been a while but I was thinking that, well, you're a writer and I kind of need some words. Could you write me something about this? I'll buy you a coffee next time I see you.'

Coffees don't pay the bills people, coffees do not pay the bills.

PEOPLE OFFER YOU JOBS WHERE COPYWRITING PLAYS A SMALL PART BUT THE REST OF THE ROLE WILL KILL YOUR SOUL.

'I have this role that I think will be great for you. It's 15k a year and based in some place you've never heard of. You'll be responsible for the copywriting, social media, creative campaigns, telesales...' 'Sorry what was that last one?' 'Creative campaigns...' 'No no, the one after that...'

PEOPLE WANT YOU TO BE ABLE TO USE PHOTOSHOP.

'We like your words. Can you please put them in a beautifully designed A3 poster that we can put straight into print without the need to hire an expensive designer? You will get nothing extra for this. Thanks!'

PEOPLE THINK THEY KNOW BETTER.

Alright... occasionally they do. But often you've hired a copywriter because, you know, they get how to write. If they say something sounds good then it probably does and you should pay them with CASH MONEY and not UN-CASH COFFEE. 

See also: my portfolio. Click on the links and see the sort of stuff I do.