Dear future Ash,
Hello, it's me, present Ash. I hope these words find you well. Just writing to you to see how things are and to check whether or not 'the plan' worked out. I know it had its doubters and a lot of people told us we should stop or risk alienating our friends but I've been saying all along how we won't need friends if it all pans out. It did pan out, didn't it? If it didn't I hope you found us some good new friends, I fear I've screwed the last lot up! Aha, no but seriously, I don't want you to be alone. At least buy a cat or some pictures with character to decorate the house. Do we live somewhere nice? I always imagined we'd be in a penthouse somewhere overlooking a lovely bit of water or in an old castle where we'd call ourselves king and lord it over a load of imaginary subjects. Could you call one of them Quentin just for me? I quite like the name Quentin.
On another note, did you ever finish writing that book I started? I'm about half way through the first draft at the moment but I'm worried the main character is a knob because I've based many of his qualities on us, and you know how we are! There are a few other things I'd like to inquire about too so if you find a spare moment I'd really appreciate it if you could tell me the following:
Did our hats ever get cool again?
Did we ever marry Emma Watson?
Lincoln City... they got good, right?
How did you go about resolving the problem of the mismatching facial hair?
How awesome is it living now our diabetes has been cured?
Apart from that I'm sure I'll find anything else you have to tell me most interesting. 2013 has been fairly bland as of yet and I'm certain whatever year it is you're in will be vastly more fascinating. Anyway, you must be busy, what with the fame and all, so I'll leave you to it now and get back on with making sure you're a possibility.
If you don't reply I'll know something went wrong along the way, or that I died young, which I guess is the same sort of thing.
All the best,
Yourself. x
