Thoughts such as:
Why don't you like me?
I wonder what cheese on toast would taste like if I had no cheese?
And, most importantly, if the survival of mankind rested solely on my shoulders in a post apocalyptic world, what chance would humanity stand of making it through the week?
I can't be sure of exactly why the last question popped into my noggin', but it stayed there for a fair while. I imagine it was something to do with having recently seen the film Quarantine, in which some dopey firemen get eaten by infected zombie types and the girl who plays Dexter's sister is there to document it all, and also partly due to the fact I have a morbid curiosity when it comes to things like death, destruction and unbearable sadness.
I have several semi-started stories lingering about on my laptop that follow such a pattern.
The first thing, I figured, that would be an issue would be my lack of being able to take things seriously.
I assume in such a time of despair this ability would come it quite useful and my penchant for having a laugh about things instead may not help all that much. It's already a large contributing factor to why I'm perennially single, without many friends, alone etc.
Girl: Oh, you seem nice. Let's talk.
Ash: (Talks)
Girl: Oh, I've changed my mind. Let us never speak again.
The second, probably more important thing that I realised is that, well, eventually I'd run out of insulin and die.
In a post apocalyptic world I doubt the needs of the sugar resenting population would be first on the agenda of whatever figure became a leader in such times. Even though, in this situation, that figure would be me, I don't have a clue how to make the stuff so I would ultimately die after a few weeks. Humanity would be screwed all because my pancreas is broken.
Fitness issues, diabetes aside, wouldn't be a problem. I could run away from evil lurking creatures, I'm really good on Wii Boxing so fighting them wouldn't be that hard, I don't need much sleep (and even if I do, my body won't let me get it) so I'd be up to like, I don't know, keep guard over stuff. I think I'd be more than adequate at all of that, up until I died of hyperglycemia of course.
I think, ultimately, the thing that would let me down would be my inclination to support the underdog.
In this scenario the underdog would be the enemy, given how they were a new and misunderstood species.
I'd likely agree with most of their world views, feel a bit sorry for them as they would look pretty hungry and inevitably I would lose my hand trying to pet one.
"It's fine guys, look, they're friendly. They just want to play ARGGHHH GET OFF YOU TIT."
Seems the future should not be left in my hands.
Unless, that is, you want someone to write about it in a satirical, bitter manner.
The next generation needs to know how we survived and facts get boring.
Oh, and cheese on toast when you have no cheese?
Bit of a let down...