If you got a twin pack then I feel glad for you son,
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
I got the water hot in the kettle hot,
Tea bag about to make sure that I'm thirsty, not,
Drink critics say I should prefer a coffee pot,
I'm from the north stupid I need your coffee propaganda to stop,
If you grew up with me you'd wanna cuppa as well,
You'd celebrate the minute the kettle got as hot as hell,
I'm like 'Yeah sure, coffee's good, latte or cappuccino,'
But some days tea's the only way to go,
If you got beef with my drink then I'm about to show,
That I don't really care because it's happening so,
Tea mags try and use my white ass,
Do they even have tea mags? I'm not as sad as that,
I don't know what you take me as,
Or understand the intelligence that Ash B has,
I got the Yorkshire brand I ain't dumb,
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea biscuit is one.
Rich Tea.
99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
If you got a twin pack then I feel glad for you son,
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
Rich Tea.
The year is 13 and my hunger is mean,
My stomach is rumbling cos a packet it's seen,
Go over pick it up but no contents it seems,
Pretty cruel trick for my eyes to play on me,
Now I ain't saying that I can't go without,
A lack of biscuits ain't gonna make me shout,
So I sit back down and get on with my day,
And I hear, 'Ash are you gonna make me starve?'
Cause my stomach is mad and it can't go that far,
Do I look like I'm a mind reader stomach, I didn't know,
Am I going to the shops or should I guess some mo'?
'Well yeah else I'm gonna growl and roar,'
'Get going now or I'll leave you crippled on the floor,'
'Are you gonna make me beg? What you hurting me for?'
I ain't going to the shop I've not got the dough,
'But you know this deal works out for both of us though,'
Well if you can find me some work then I guess I can go,
But at the moment I've got time to write this biscuit rap so,
'Aren't you cocky think you got me in a twist or something?'
'Reckon you be messing with my head or something?'
You've not got a head you're a stomach you fool,
All you got on me is you can make me drool,
'See how you feel when the hunger comes,'
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea biscuit is one.
Rich Tea.
99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
If you got a twin pack then I feel glad for you son,
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
Rich Tea.
99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
If you got a twin pack then I feel glad for you son,
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
Rich Tea.
Now once upon a time not too long ago,
I had a barrel full of biscuits, now that I know,
This is not just a thought I've not been dreaming,
I'm pretty sure that someone else has been stealing,
I tried to ignore them thought I could share,
But in the end it turned out that I care,
You know how it is, jealousy and that,
Take another bite and I'll have to attack,
The only thing that's gonna happen is I'mma hurt somebody,
The biscuit thief is gonna have a bruised body,
And there I go getting wound up again,
Back to being angry about snack foods again,
Someone on the floor surrounded by crumbs again.
Police turn up and put some tape around them,
'Sir can you come with us, you've lost it again.'
Half a mil' for the bail cause I was hungry when,
I chopped the guy down for munching on them,
Trying to eat my McVities produce like he's one of my friends,
But there ain't nothing friendly about what I done,
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea biscuit is one.
Rich Tea.
99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
If you got a twin pack then I feel glad for you son,
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
Rich Tea.
99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
If you got a twin pack then I feel glad for you son,
I got 99 problems and a Rich Tea is one.
Rich Tea.
You're crazy if you're gonna take my biscuits,
They're my boy.
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| I feel glad for you son. |