1. Enjoy this, it will only get worse.
and
2. Don't talk to strangers.
It is this advice that guides you as you grow up and develop as a human being, it helps form who you become later on in life. It keeps you safe.
However, the older you get the more difficult it is to not talk to people you do not know. You can't just run away like you could as a child, you can't hide behind the legs of someone bigger in the hope the stranger will just leave. You have to face them. You have to engage with them. Occasionally you have to try and convince them that you're a half decent writer and that they should definitely hire you. It's a tricky, minefield filled world we live in now and unless you're careful you could end up looking socially inadequate because your parents never taught you how to do things like this properly. I am here today to prevent that happening. I'm here today to stop people judging you.
5 REALLY VERY USEFUL PIECES OF ADVICE ON HOW TO TALK TO STRANGERS.
Pretend you're foreign.
The language of strangers is a scary one not to be trusted. The only language worse than that is one no-one understands. By pretending to be foreign you will trump their attempts to frighten you with words and leave them lost in a mist of confusion. If they say hello you say bonjour. If they start speaking French you pretend to speak a type of French only spoken on remote islands off the coast of Europe. You can't lose and they will get over how put off they feel by being enveloped in the awe you've conjured up by creating your own language from scratch. Well done.
Pretend they're foreign.
If you're not feeling particularly creative when the stranger approaches then you can put off the hard work involved in speaking foreign by pretending it's actually them who is making no sense. It's a hard lie to pull off and you have to be really committed to selling them the story but if it works it can lead to incredible results. Look puzzled by everything they say, ask them to repeat things and then apologise when you still don't quite get it. Ask them slowly if they speak English. Get a map out and point out on it where England is and ask them to do the same for their home country. If they too point to England (which they will, we're making this crap up remember?) then say, a little annoyed, 'No, that's where I am from. You have to point to where YOU are from.' Eventually they will start crying and leave making you the winner.
Tell them your name is Sam Beckett and you're from the future.
Tell them all about Jesus.
The scariest type of strangers are the ones who try and preach their religion to you. Sure, it's fine to believe in a god. There is no problem in having an unwavering commitment to a higher power. But what is quite off putting is when those believers try and get you to believe as well. Have you ever once done anything but walk by and completely ignore the guy in the street who tells you how you'll go to Hell unless you immediately repent your sins and even then there's a chance you'll burn anyway? Of course you haven't, he's completely bonkers. Just think about how powerful an effect he has on people who don't know him though. It's the exact opposite of the effect he desires, but it's the perfect effect for you. Go forth and tell the world of your divine leader.
Make everything you say a quote from a popular TV show.
We all know people who think they're really cool because they can remember everything someone on the telly has ever said and apply it to situations in their life. Alas they're the only person to think they're really cool and everyone else just reckons they're a tit. People avoid them at all costs. People pretend to be sleeping when they visit. This technique might be a bit of a slow burner but if you give it 100% and use really well known quotes it will work instantly and carry forward a longer lasting impact too.
'Hello, how are you? they say.
'I was sad, but then I stopped being sad and started being awesome instead!' you reply.
They leave.
You smile.
Now you may find there are instances in which you would quite like not to scare the stranger off. For example if the stranger doesn't look like a potential killer or you one day plan to make the stranger your wife. In these cases you should ignore all my previous advice and just act like a normal human.
Alright?