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| Go home, Clunes. |
I wonder how bad,
Things would have to be,
Before I started to enjoy shows,
On ITV3.
I wonder how lonely,
How badly lacking in friends,
Life would have to get before,
I liked Doc Martin again.
Agatha Christie's Poirot,
Never been for me,
Doesn't provide apt viewing,
With my afternoon cup of tea.
Midsomer Murders,
Aren't they all already dead?
Maybe they should create a show,
About their funeral home instead.
Marple sticks her nose in,
But she's too old and grey,
They'd have to replace her with a younger model,
To convince me to stay.
As for Cracker, Heartbeat, Rising Damp,
They all blur into one,
And by the time the credits are over,
I'm already gone.
Murder, She Wrote,
Is all that's alright for my telly,
Although worryingly for me,
I seem to know all the other shows already.