It happens all the time for me. All. The. Time. I spend a fortune on postage.
But I refuse to believe that these ads started out as such hollow, emotionless piles of awful so I'm going to rid you of the nightmares they induce by diving into them, swimming to their darkest depths and rising back to the surface triumphant with a chest full of story telling treasure. Aye aye.
TRIVAGO
Oh look, a travel company are trying to show you all of the things they can offer through the eyes of a couple. Sweet. At least that's what you're meant to think. The truth behind this ad is something far more morbid. That girl used to be a gossip columnist for a glossy magazine, her career was looking good and her life was happy. Until one day the fuzzy haired janitor, who had spent years admiring her from afar before sniffing her chair at the end of the day, decided he could take the torture of seeing her happy without him no more. One day he tricked the poor girl downstairs and pushed her into his van. He now drags her around Europe pretending to be a lovely couple while all the time she is terrified for her safety and contemplating ending it all just to get away. Tri-va-go.
KITKAT
Choose your Chunky Champion Kitkat, says the ad. Or something like that. They paint an image of a group of fearless superheros whose only goal in life is to, erm, give you chocolate biscuits. How brave. Go online and vote! But behind the smiles, behind the masks and behind the impractical outfits with KitKats strapped to their wrists, this team of crime fighting, hunger destroying do-gooders are actually doing their best to cover up a troubled past. Having only recently got out of prison for tax evasion, Coconutter (not her real name) isn't really all that mental, she just didn't want to have to pay VAT. The mint one used to touch animals inappropriately. The others are also awful people but a white van has just pulled up outside my house and now I'm worried they're watching me so it's best I stop talking.
E-HARMONY
Oh hey Jon, playing cricket there are we? That's a sure fire way to attract the ladies. Jon is finding dating life a lot easier now thanks to joining eHarmony, and obviously his excellent taste in jumpers is helping too. But what he fails to mention is the reason behind why he was single in the first place. You see, that cricket bat has seen use before. He obviously doesn't use it to play the game, his action is all wrong, but a solid bit of wood like that can do a lot of damage to an unwanted wife's head. Sure, he looks happy and innocent enough in his TV spot, but just you wait and see how he changes if dinner isn't ready when he gets back from work. Oh Jon, you awful fox you.
On second thought it's probably best we don't look too closely in to the stories behind these commercials, they're clearly all messed up. Let's just stick to them being terrible and move on with the rest of our lives as if nothing ever happened.