1. They can't spell.
2. They criticise other people for how they spell.
3. They tweet too much.
4. They hardly every tweet.
5. They tweet all their Facebook updates. It's like reading the same boring book, twice.
6. They really love Justin Bieber.
7. They really love One Direction.
8. They hate foreigners.
9. They tweet in a foreign language.
10. They're dull.
11. They're a member of the BNP.
12. They tweet too many pictures of cats.
13. They're sad because they don't have a cat to tweet pictures of.
14. They tweet every single detail of their life like they expect people to care. People don't/
15. They tweet pictures of pretty girls and are all, 'Omg I wish I had her figure!' Don't we all love, don't we all.
16. You only followed them because they were hot but now they've let themselves go.
17. You're bored.
18. They talk about themself all the time.
19. They talk about their partner all the time. Isn't he/she great? Aren't they so lucky?
20. They steal your jokes and don't give you credit.
21. They unfollowed you. How dare they?!?
22. Their bio says they're a 'guru.'
23. Their bio says everything about them like a badly written autobiography.
24. They're a robot.
25. They aren't a porn-bot but they look like they should be.
26. They are a porn-bot.
27. They talk about Jesus a lot.
28. They seem to fear other cultures.
29. They think their opinion is important when it isn't.
30. They're a cock.
31. It's Tuesday.
32. You're drunk.
33. You asked them out and they said no.
34. You asked why they said no and they got scared.
35. You asked why they were scared and they called the police.
36. The police asked you to unfollow them.
37. You have no idea why you even followed them in the first place.
38. They post a lot of pictures of their face and they're not attractive.
39. They retweet lots of really bad jokes.
40. They tweet interesting things but you see Mashable tweet them just seconds earlier.
41. They say they don't find you interesting.
42. They're Piers Morgan.
43. They act like they know things but really they're just using big words.
44. They #hashtag everything.
45. They tweet all their Instagram pictures which they also share on Facebook. It's like reading the same boring book, three times.
46. They're absurdly happy.
47. They're depressed.
48. They hate their job and tell you all about it but not in a funny way.
49. They find 'Weird Horse' hilarious.
50. The voices in your head told you to.
51. They don't play for Lincoln City anymore.
52. Future you came back in time to warn you against them.
53. They use 'to' when they really mean 'too.'
54. They talk about things you don't understand and have no interest in learning about.
55. They died.
56. They say YOLO more than once a month.
57. They write really boring blog posts all the time and expect you to read them.
58. They have the default egg as their profile picture.
59. They are an egg.
60. Why the hell not?
61. They share a lot of memes. They're not funny.
62. LOLcats.
63. They're going out with the girl you like.
64. They're going out with a girl and you like them.
65. They complain about having no money while tweeting on their iPhone.
66. They're still at university and they think their life is hard. IT ISN'T.
67. They go out all the time but spend the whole night on Twitter. Socialise with real people you mug.
68. They use odd social terminology like 'Follow me on Facebook, friend me on Twitter, like me on LinkedIn.'
69. They retweet Piers Morgan.
70. Their profile picture is the wrong size.
71. Their cover image is the wrong size.
72. Their background image is still clouds.
73. They write a lot of lists.
74. They do those 'My daily news is out!' tweets. Why?
75. They retweet any praise they get in a non-sarcastic manner.
76. Dey type lyk dis. Wot u usin a Nokia m8?
77. They make regular political statements that you believe you might not give a shit about.
78. They say 'lol' after their own jokes.
79. They tweet quite racist images with a smiley face. Ironically the smiley face is always black. They lose.
80. They say things that make you pity them. Ain't no-one got time for that.
81. They say 'Ain't no-one got time for that,' and other potentially misleading double negatives.
82. They tweet their art and it's rubbish and unfollowing them is kinder than replying with, 'YOU'RE AWFUL. STOP ABUSING MY EYES.'
83.
84. You followed them because they followed you and now realise that was a mistake.
85. They offer nothing of value to your daily existence.
86. You feel older every time you read something they say.
87. Jealousy.
88. You hate them.
89. They constantly want you to engage with them like some sort of needy child.
90. They say 'Please RT' and you never do so what's the point?
91. They're a recruiter.
92. They tweet a lot of pictures of food and then wonder why they're fat. Silly.
93. They remind you too much of yourself.
94. You retweeted something they said and people unfollowed you because of it.
95. Karma.
96. They talk a lot about the weather.
97. They're just a bit 'meh.'
98. They act like they know you. They don't know nothing, so in a way they know everything. Run.
99. You've got 99 problems and they're one of them.
100. They go on and on and on and on and on and on and on.