Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Why Justin Bieber's 19th was probably still better than mine.

The other day half man, half God Justin Bieber turned 19. It was an event that meant he was now even further away from the age of his main target audience but a year closer to it being okay for all his older fans to fancy him. Huzzar! But unfortunately while the rest of the world were celebrating the continuation of the life of their flesh bound deity the teen icon himself wasn't having a very nice time at all. Such was the extent of his bad experience that he felt the only thing he could possibly do was tweet about it, immortalising the occasion with two simple, poetic words:

Worst birthday.

It was retweeted 175,884 times (obviously, it was a literary masterclass) meaning people across the whole world soon knew just how horrible a time he'd had. Bless.

But the more I thought about it the less I felt sorry for Bieber and the more I felt sorry for myself. His 19th birthday might have been cut short because he was apparently stinking of weed but I'd imagine it was probably still better than mine, four years ago. Here's why:


Bieber's 19th: He is a multimillionaire. 
Ash's 19th: I was not a multimillionaire.

Bieber's 19th: He had millions of emotionally unstable teenage girls to offer him support.
Ash's 19th: I had vodka to offer me support.

Bieber's 19th: He had a decent haircut.

Ash's 19th: I had this haircut.

Bieber's 19th: He didn't have to pay for a taxi home.
Ash's 19th: I did, it was at least £8.00.

Bieber's 19th: When it all went wrong his fans got him trending on Twitter.
Ash's 19th: What is Twitter? It's 2009, why are you speaking in riddles?

So I think you can see why, despite him saying it was the 'worst birthday,' it might not have actually been that bad. We all go through problems Biebs, but most of us don't have a bucket load of cash and teenage girls to help us get over them.

I'm sure you'll be fine.