Tuesday, 26 March 2013

What the copy really means.

Copywriting is good. I like it because it makes otherwise mundane pictures more exciting and occasionally it pays me money, both of which are very useful things. This website shows a set of some of the best copy ads around but while all of them are super clever and almost certainly got more views than this blog post will, I can't help but feel that they're hiding their real message. I can't help but feel that the person behind them really wanted to say something else. I can't help but feel that I am going to write what that something else might have been right now.

Real meaning: WHY DOES THE SNOWPLOW DRIVING MAN NOT LEAVE HIS SNOWPLOW AT HOME? He lives in the middle of nowhere, affording him lots of free space where he could quite easily park a snowplow. While the Volkswagen Rabbit no longer exists, the need for snowplows definitely still does. Had the snowplow driver thought of this at the time he could have just parked his vehicle outside his door and plowed snow on his way to work and doubled his efficiency. He would also have saved on fuel, saved on insurance and saved enough money to afford a better haircut. VOLKSWAGEN DID IT AGAIN, but it needn't have bothered.

Real meaning: Tropical, but we don't really have much of a market presence in many tropical countries. In fact we sell most of our products in the UK which is why our tropical flavours prove to be popular because no-one there really knows what the Caribbean tastes like. This is handy as it means we can just make all our sweets taste a little bit like strawberries and no-one will be any the wiser.

Real meaning: Seriously, don't drive too fast in our cars. We know you're more than likely going to be a middle aged banker with a receding hairline and a belly that hangs out over your belt and you've only brought the car to try and impress women much younger than you. Driving fast might help you do that, but the heart attack that follows will almost certainly put them straight off you again.

Real meaning: Soap. 24p. See, the more short sentences we use the more you want to buy our products. It makes us look approachable. Now as a thank you we're going to sneak into your shower, please don't scream.