This is the first time I have been able to see words in around eleven years without wearing glasses. What is this, witchcraft? Magic? The future? Nah, it's contact lenses mate and it's bloody fantastic. You might be, or know, someone who has worn contact lenses for ages thus making this wonder seem quite naive but do I care? Not a bit, because I can see things without wearing glasses. I am free from my metal frames, free from smudged glass and free from the rain making everything appear in duplicate. I've lived with such problems for as long as I can remember and now, after half an hour of me struggling to get used to the concept of willingly putting things in my eyes, they no longer exist. They are gone. For people not used to having vision problems I can only sum up this revelation with some fairly corny metaphors, all of which I can write and see WITHOUT GLASSES. AHAHAHA. But yes...
It's like a man who needed a wheelchair suddenly being able to walk.
It's like Captain Hook suddenly having both hands.
It's like Superman being all 'I'm just an average kid,' one day and then the next being able to fly!
Of course there are downsides; I will probably be pushing imaginary glasses up on my nose for days, there's a risk of infection and my hipster good lucks (shut up, I have them) may now be severely diminished, but weighing all that up against this current feeling of elation means there is only one winner.
This is the cheeriest thing I have ever written and if that's filled you with a feeling of dread I apologise, but I do so while being able to clearly see that look of dread wash all over your face. Without me wearing glasses.
