Up - Young boy is full of hope and possibilities.
Me - When younger was full of hope and possibilities.
Up - Finds a girl who seems equally full of hope and possibilities
Me - Found a number of girls who have seemed full of hope and possibilites
Up - Marries girl.
Me - Goes for one drink with girl. Plans marriage in head.
Up - Girl dies. Aw.
Me - Girl ignores all future texts. Aw.
Up - Man becomes unhappy and bitter. Loses hope.
Me - Becomes unhappy and bitter. Loses hope.
Up - Old man is forced to leave his home because they think he's mental.
Me - Decided it was best to leave my home before I became mental.
Up - Man ties balloons to his home to escape to freedom.
Me - Get on a train to escape to freedom.
Up - Finds small boy has hidden away in his floating house.
Me - Due to legal reasons I am not allowed to discuss the details of this part of the story.
Up - Crashes floating house in an exotic part of South America.
Me - Ends up in a posh part of London.
Up - Finds an exotic bird.
Me - Finds pigeons.
Up - Forms a close bond with hidden away boy.
Me - Due to legal reasons I am not allowed to discuss the details of this part of the story.
Up - Goes on an adventure.
Me - Goes on a less sunny adventure.
Up - Befriends talking dog.
Me - Gets sniffed by a dog.
Up - Discovers childhood hero is a nutter. All dreams are dashed.
Me - Gets grief on Twitter from a Lincoln City player. All dreams are dashed.
Up - Through adventure realises he has a reason to enjoy life after all, hurrah!
Me - Through adventure realises he no longer has a life. But enjoys the sofa.
Up - Buys ice cream.
Me - Can't eat ice cream.
IT'S LIKE THEY FILMED MY LIFE.
