Before setting off for my swanky new job in London my Dad had one final strand of advice for me,
"Ash," he said, "whatever you do, don't come back a wanker."
This was fairly poignant wording for my father, a man who prefers to speak with eye movements or sighs rather than actual sounds more often than not. It was also, in a way, quite a nice compliment. Asking me not to become a wanker suggested that he did not already see me as a wanker, which is always a nice thing to find out about a parent.
"Don't turn in to someone I will hate," would have worked just as well. In fact that was really what he was saying. He was telling me that he liked me and that he didn't want me to change, just without using emotions or any flowery metaphors like a girl would. Later on when I got to London he would text me to check up on my progress.
"You one of them ad wankers yet, Ash?" he would say. And I wasn't, not yet. I had lived up to my promise to not become one and this made him happy.
I haven't actually met any ad wankers yet to know what sort of personality traits I should avoid.
Unless of course I've been one all along, and just can't spot the signs because I see them every day in myself.
Shit.
