I love my gran.
She has many fine qualities, like the ability to always know when you want a biscuit, an excellent understanding of Coronation Street's plot line and a great awareness of how much I want to stroke her dog.
However, one of the things she lacks in severely is an understanding of what I do for a living.
Now my gran, bless her, is not alone in this. No relative who's ever asked, no friend who's ever checked my Facebook, and no stranger at the football who's ever tried to make idle chit-chat during a boring 0-0 away draw at Tamworth (niche audience) has ever really known what I do.
Ironic, really, as I'm a copywriter, and one of the main things I do is try and make things clearer. Hey ho.
In a recent attempt to clear up this confusion, I've taken to avoiding all family get-togethers and ignoring any career-based questions that come my way.
"So what is you do, Ash?"
"Is that a shark walking past the window?"
"Sorry?"
"You don't see that every day in Sheffield."
Sadly it rarely works, and we still end up with that awkward conversation where I try and make my job sound exciting to other people, people who clearly aren't as thrilled about being paid to write as I am. This led to me trying an alternative approach:
Making my job up.
Sadly that hardly ever works as people know I'm a massive bullshitter.
This leaves me with two options, neither of which are enjoyable but both, unfortunately, have their moments in the spotlight.
Option 1.
I tell people I am a copywriter.
This is what happens:
I say, "I'm a copywriter for a marketing agency."
They say, "Oh, what does that mean then?"
I say, "Oh you know, I write copy. Work on quite a few big brands actually, and it's quite fun."
They look at me blankly, still not convinced I'm being genuine. After feigning interest for a few seconds, they ignore what I've just said and come out with this:
"So if I had a product, right, and I didn't want anyone else to be able to use that product, I could come to you?"
I say, "What?"
They say, "I'd come to you and then you'd copyright it. Is that right?"
I say, "No, that's copyright with a little symbol. I copy write with a pen."
They then get up and leave.
I've been writing copy in some form or another for 5 years now, and not once has anyone outside of advertising fully grasped what it means.
That brings us on to...
Option 2.
I tell people I'm a writer.
This happens:
I say, "I'm a writer."
They say, far more enthusiastically, "Oh that sounds interesting! I always wanted to be a writer. What kind of stuff do you write?"
I say, "Mainly marketing for a day job, but I do a few short stories and the odd bit of poetry too. I write for magazines as well occasionally, when they'll have me."
They hear: Marketing.
We get back to option 1.
I've given up on caring if they understand now. When I'm a world famous author whose books have been turned into a groundbreaking movie franchise, well, they still won't know what I do because they'll all just watch the film.
Until then I'll settle for them telling me to get a proper job.
