Today I received an email and, well, having read it I'm pretty sure I've found the one.
How else can you explain such beauty, such poetry, such vivid colours conjured up by words? It must be love, and if it isn't, I never wish to experience anything else.
The email is below. I have analysed it so you'll know how very lucky I am.
Hello my dear,(1)
my name is miss Farida,i am a girl(2) i saw your contact caught myattraction,and became intrested, (3) i will like to know you more, i will be waiting to receive your lovely email (4) to my pravit mail box (5), so we cancommunicate easily to know each other the more, i promise to also sendyou my photo for you to know me.(6) Bear in mind that Love has no colorsbarrier, no educational back ground barrier, no socio-economic Barrier,religious, language, nationality or distance barrier, (7) the only important Thing is true affection,in everything we need to live our life and behappy. (8) AND PLEASE DONT FORGET TO CONTACT ME ON MY PRAVIT EMAIL ADDRESS HERE (9)
Yours new found friend, (10)Miss Farida
1. She starts off so warm, so comforting. Already she refers to me as her dear, and we've never even met. Love at first type.
2. Good.
3. Her passion is too great for spelling, which is something we'll have to work on because there is simply no excuse for bad grammar. I can forgive her this once though, because she's a sweetheart.
4. She must know I'm a writer and am more than capable of writing emails in a range of tones, from lovely to truly fucking vindictive.
5. Kinky.
6. Even kinkier.
7. She's right. Love conquers all. I'll remind her of this when she inevitably says she is looking for something else.
8. Aw. You make me happy, Miss Farida!
9. She did send me her email address, but I have removed it in case one of you bastards tried to steal my love away from me.
10. Oh, friend zoned.
