To make things easier for them and to hopefully stop them getting bullied by people like me I've compiled this remarkably useful list of things that are a lot more interesting to talk about than the white stuff falling from the sky.
| Hashtag cats. Hashtag snow. |
1. The fact that we are aware of being alive.
2. The news.
3. The Pope changing his relationship status with God to 'It's complicated.'
4. How giraffes don't fall over more often.
5. Why people still smoke.
6. Why people do drugs.
7. Why people don't actually dance better when drunk but think they do.
8. The lack of scientific proof behind the Lynx Effect.
9. Are you allowed to support Manchester United if you have morals?
10. Is the colour blue really blue or are we all just being tricked?
11. Who first discovered that eating raw potatoes kills you?
12. Why don't butterflies carry on evolving until they are dragons?
13. Do dragons really exist?
14. How come it's funny when people get hurt?
15. Do Gandalf and Dumbledore go to each other's houses for tea?
16. Why won't Frankie from The Saturdays reply to my tweets?
17. Do restraining orders really work?
18. My fringe.
19. How long do sofa sales last?
20. If you B&Q it, just how much can you now do?
21. Who invented numbers?
22. Small people.
23. Big people who think they're smaller so wear small people's clothes.
24. Is it wrong to go Playzone when you're over the age of twelve?
25. Dolphins.
26. Jackie Chan.
27. The future.
28. The possibility of us one day all wearing reflective trousers.
29. Emma Watson.
30. The sudden realisation that none of this matters.
31. Limericks.
32. How many spiders you eat during your sleep.
33. Are magpies really that good at predicting the future?
34. Why pigs and cows have an 's' at the end when plural but sheep don't.
35. Odd socks.
36. The number thirty six.
37. Does the Twilight Bark really work?
38. Why some people can pat their heads and rub their stomachs at the same time but others can't.
39. The fact that hundreds of thousands of people are homeless and starving in our own country but no-one cares because they're too busy taking pictures of the snow.
40. Whatever happened to Ready Steady Cook?
41. How Alan Hansen is still alive.
42. Do Cheetahs eat Cheetos?
43. How does a vintage hue make an otherwise mundane photo look more interesting?
44. Hats.
45. How long does a list have to be before people get bored?
46. Employing me.
47. The chance that the world did actually end and we're all living in the afterlife without even knowing.
48. Why guitars are seen as cool but trumpets are not.
49. How likely it is that you only exist in my head.
50. Everything else.
In short, there is nothing less interesting to talk about than how it is snowing. Social media is all about sharing experiences, but there's a limit. You've found it.