So with all those people no longer spending 75% of their days on their phones trying to add the best hue to an otherwise boring image to make it look slightly more quirky than the thousands of other photos of the exact same thing, what is it they're spending their newly found spare time doing?
Here is a list of possible options that if you're not doing already you totally could be. The world is yours now.
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| You can do things too now, cat. Maybe report your owner for abuse. |
- Learn how to use an actual camera. Your pictures will look better.
- Try something new at Starbucks. Don't tell me what it is, I don't care.
- Accept that occasionally the Starbucks staff will get your name wrong. They serve thousands of people every day doing a job that they don't really want. It was funny the first time, but now you need to stop.
- Teach your cat a cool new trick. It's learnt to pose for photographs so imagine the possibilities. Maybe it could save lives, maybe your selfish Instagram needs have prevented it from achieving its true potential and those kids died in that fire because of you. Awful.
- Get a job. What the hell were you doing before that was so happy with you spending so long on your mobile phone? I can do it, I am my own boss. I can do whatever the hell I like. But you work at Tesco and there are hundreds of new Tesco Express shelves that you should be stacking instead.
- Buy some new clothes. Your tweed suit is nice, sure, I would really like one, but it's all I ever see you wear and it's probably starting to smell.
- Spend less time in nature parks/ zoos/ art events. Who lives like that? The most interesting thing I do in a week is realise the milk is off and fetch some more from the Spar shop. But there you are living like you're in an actual movie and it's ridiculous and it should stop before someone gets hurt.
- Hollyoakes.
- Share this blog with everyone. It's the cure.