I put on an extra layer to normal (better safe than sorry) and even found a hat that boasted practicality rather than the usual useless style I prefer. I headed downstairs and was met by a grinning house mate who, rather politely, informed me that she would give me a lift only she couldn't be arsed. Thanks. I didn't need to know that. I would have been quite content walking without the knowledge that a lift was within my grasp if only certain people weren't so lazy as to go and turn their car on. However, this information also implied that I would of preferred a lift. This was not the case. I like walking, I like seeing things you wouldn't see in a car and I like fresh air; all of which a lift would have made obsolete. Another thing that was said was that, "We need to go shopping soon." Apparently two of my house mates are no longer separate entities and have to do everything together. I look forward to their matching jumpers for Christmas and the birthday card from the both of them.
Anyway, I finally got outside using the miracles that are my own two feet and began the treacherous journey to the supermarket. The roads which just a day ago were filled with fun looking, friendly snow were now covered with a sheet of deadly ice that had a persona not of fun, but more of, "Let's stay in and watch TV." I could make other house mate references here, but it's only funny if you know them.
The walk there was fairly easy going. I was a bit surprised. I didn't slip once and even managed to intimidate some kids who were throwing snow balls at passers by. I gave one a look that suggested if he threw one at me, I'd eat him. That look only ever works on midgets when I try it, but fortunately he was no more than 4 foot tall so it did the trick perfectly and I passed by without even a hint of danger from their direction. For a second there I felt like a king.
I arrived at the shop and did all I needed to do. I always make the mistake of getting a basket and then realising I need to buy an awful lot more than first anticipated, but I carried on none the less and chalked it down as something of a work out, with at least one arm looking considerably larger than it had done before. I noticed, once again, the store was heaving. Either the run up to Christmas was getting earlier and earlier or the recent terrible weather was causing everyone to panic buy. I gave up completely on the quest for chopped tomatoes at one stage, only daring to go back after the woman who had screamed "JUST EFFING MOVE!" had walked far away. She had a valid point, however, as people do seem to get into a mentality of staying exactly where they are and making everyone else move around them. People just stand in the middle of isles chatting to friends about nothing of any importance whilst all us anti social souls have to battle past them to get a mere can of diced vegetables. Having successfully done such a thing I headed to the tills. Weirdly I didn't have to walk far, as the queue started about half way down the isle I was already in. I put my basket down and waited.
I half expected some queue busters to come down the lanes and offer everyone some chocolate that I couldn't eat but would probably have accepted anyway out of fear of seeming rude. But no such luck. Instead all I got was a woman asking me if I could reach for a bottle of wine which I swear she just had hold of prior to her asking. I thought it might have been a swindle attempt and I checked my pocket for my wallet, panicking for a moment as I forgot which pocket I had put it in and felt nothing but emptiness in the one I initially went for. Fortunately she wasn't a thief, just a slightly too short lady who I imaged probably just wanted to check me out as I stretched up to the top shelf. Brief excitement aside, I continued my wait for the queue to move. However all that time stood still gives you an awful lot of room for thought. I began thinking of lots of other things I needed to buy. Seriously, anything that popped in to my head suddenly seemed like a matter of urgency despite me being fairly sure I already owned it. I stood my ground, though, until one thing that I really did need emerged in my mind.
A Christmas present for the person I'd drawn in secret Santa. The problem was that I don't really know anything about this person. Of all the people I could have picked she is the one that I have spoken to the least. All I knew was that she was a vegetarian who was allergic to something in cheese. That didn't leave me with many options. I won't say what I did get her, just in case I've forgotten that she follows me on Twitter, reads this and the whole surprise is ruined, but I had to abandon my place in the queue to go and fetch it. By the time I got back the queue had doubled in size and the whole thing started over again.
About a year later I paid up and left the store.
I got home and was told by the other half of the "we" that they needed to go shopping soon.
They say a dog tends to look like its owner.
The same applies here.