Wake up Ash. Wake up Ash. Ash, wake up. WAKE UP ASH. Ash, Ash, Ash, Ash....
If my alarm had a face that contained a mouth it would tell me that this is all my fault. I set it in the first place and if I will insist on putting effort in to my work then this is the least I should expect in return. However I don't always get such just rewards. Every other few days my alarm decides it doesn't fancy going off and I'm left there wasting more and more of a day that had initially been planned as being that of a rather productive nature. I'm sure it does this on purpose.
"Not only will you feel terrible Ash, but you'll also have no work to show for it!"
Recently I've been setting the alarm on my phone too just to give me further angst when I awaken but ultimately to make sure the first alarm doesn't win this war of wills. I'm afraid they might team up against me, so I've hidden them from each other's views just in case they get any ideas above their stations.
It isn't just the getting up early part that is causing me grief. There's the flip side to that coin that involves me going to bed only a couple of hours before I know I'll have to rise again. This isn't even due to work any more. Initially it might have been, I can't remember for sure, but now it's just a case of my head refusing to admit it's tired until it's spent a good few hours mocking my body over how superior and awake it feels. I can lay in bed feeling like my limbs might fall off any minute but my mind is still buzzing with things that have happened and things it would like to kick in to action. Just the other night it became a personal mission to try and remember all the lines to a Dizzee Rascal song. I don't like the song, I don't listen to it all that much, yet I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm fairly sure I got all the lyrics wrong whilst in that semi conscious state but at the time it felt like a sufficient enough achievement to allow my eyes to close for a good few minutes.
I'm not even convinced late nights are to blame either. I've been doing them for a while and never before have the side affects involved such a zombie like state of living the next day. The only other alternative I can think of is that I've just been doing so much lately. I don't feel overloaded with work at all and, as I might have already mentioned somewhere else on here, I hate having time off to just think about things. So this constant flow of things to do makes me a lot happier then I'd be if it weren't there. Maybe my body is yet to realise this? My head is having a great time but it's taking a while for the rest of me to catch up. Even the usual gallons of breakfast accompanying coffee can't take the numbness away from me. I might have to start spooning the coffee straight in to my mouth and ignore the water and milk all together.
There is a silver lining around the cloud though, as there often is in initially bad appearing situations. The longer I'm awake the more I can do, and by that I mean the more I can talk to someone who makes me forget that I feel tired all together. Maybe if I talk to her all the time then the feeling would just disappear and I'd be fine again? She'd likely get sick of me, I mean I would, but unlike me she'd have the option to leave. Probably best I don't try that plan. I'd find myself back at a very knackered square one and I got bored of being there a fair while ago.
The Christmas holidays can't come soon enough. I have nothing planned other than two weeks of not moving and that's exactly what every sense in my body is telling me I need right now.