Normally this sort of thing would be a worry. People tend to like being on top of things and knowing what the future holds. They don't like it when surprises happen and they feel like they're just being taken a long for the ride. I, however, really loved it. I loved waking up at a stupid time in the morning and feeling the caffeine trickle down my throat to wake me up. I loved the feeling of the cold air on the back of my neck as I headed outside and I loved feeling like at any moment this jenga tower that my life was becoming could tumble down. Adding an extra piece on top just added to the rush of it all.
My life had been so mundane for so long that even the smallest of events could liven it up and all of a sudden these sort of events were happening on a regular basis. My confidence has been filling up steadily for a while now; so much so that I no longer tend to think about nerves at all. They're just a bi-product of me doing something that I enjoy and whenever I do feel them it just reminds me that I'm finally doing something worth getting nervous about. I feel like I have a say in how things happen, in how I live my life and in how my future could pan out.
Even things that would have brought me crashing back down to earth a year or so ago can now be brushed off my back and put in their rightful place. The possibility of something hitting me hard still remains, given my inability in recent years to see things in the right perspective, but for now I'm quite happy being able to laugh them off and get on with my day.
Is it just a coincidence that things have been on the up since my fringe began to get longer? Well, it could be, but that would ruin the blog title. So we'll just pretend, ey.