It is really effing boring though.
This was how I spent the majority of my summer break. Whilst friends were off abroad discovering new worlds and people, going on adventures across the globe and returning with a lovely bronze tan, having fun with their friends and filling their heads with memories, I was sat on my own watching Gilmour Girls, most probably. This is not a productive way for a 20 year old male to spend his days. I new at the time that it was only a temporary thing, but it seemed to go on forever and at times I did begin to wander whether I was stuck in ground hog day. Every morning I would get up late, often not in the morning at all, have some breakfast (well, lunch) and spend the rest of my time sat staring blankly at either a TV screen or that of my laptop. Occasionally the monotony was disturbed by rare invites out or requests for work, but more often than not my life was that of boredom and the mundane. Sometimes I let myself forget who I was for a while; often having to force myself to remember that soon enough all of this would be over and I would be back to having so much to do that I would dream of days such as those when I could wake up and relax. But then almost as soon as I would remember that, I would also remember how much I hated days when I could just get up and relax. My brain is a fool, you see. If given too much time to think about something it will almost inevitably make the wrong decision or come to the conclusion that whatever it is I was set to try I would fail at. Too much time to ponder a situation will nearly always result in me feeling bad about the situation I was pondering over. Imagine how bad I felt after a few months of it! This isn't to say I didn't enjoy the time I spent with my family; of course I did. We went on a weeks vacation and spent lots of rainy days on the beach making the most of every ray of sunshine the English coast felt kind enough to offer us. But ultimately a return to university life was exactly what I needed. Independence makes me a better person and I strive on the opportunity to prove myself to people in areas I already know I'm good at. While the first couple of weeks back proved to be similar to those leading up to it, just in a different location, since then things have really stepped up a gear. Having gone many a week with nothing to do all of a sudden I didn't have a day to stop. University, magazine work and social invitations soon flooded my imaginary diary ( I should really invest in a real, paper one,) and I found myself at home on only a limited period of time. It's safe to say that right now I'm having one of the better times of my life. Despite nothing life changing happening to promote such a reaction in normal people, for me just the time spent meeting new people and doing new things is making up for years of my life wasted in not doing that. Not that I regret those years, as without them I doubt very much I'd be enjoying what I'm doing now quite as much or be anywhere near as good at it. This sounds slightly arrogant, and I guess in a way I am becoming more so than I used to be before. All of this is relative, however, and being arrogant compared to how I used to be effectively just gives me the amount of self confidence that any decently formed human has probably had all along. I'm starting to find I'm good at things that I never before was. Just yesterday for example I had to get up on a stage and talk to a hundred or so want-to-be writers about the section I co-edit for the magazine I work for. A few years ago this would all have gone pear shaped, with the funny things I had planned to say all coming out in one big badly timed jumble. Not any more. Despite the talk only lasting for a few minutes I still managed to pick up a couple of laughs before initiating a round of applause at the end. Ok, so that part was quite arrogant, but it got further laughs from the now bewildered looking crowd and at the end of it all a few of them came up to me with an interest in proceeding further. I thought to myself how much of a turnaround all of this was for me, given where I was in my life not that long ago, and also how much more sense my talk might have made had I not spent the previous 2 hours sat in a pub.
I'd quite like things to stay in this positive vein, if at all possible. I'm having such a lovely time with it all it would be rather unfair if it were to all go away.
A brief summary of other good things that have happened of late:
A girl told me I had beautiful eyes.
A dog licked my face.
I learnt how to say hello, how are you and "stop, thief!" in Chinese.
I brought a book about how to be happy.
I had a hair cut.
A gay guy told me I was nice to look at. (Worrying trend, there. I shall take it as a compliment all the same.)
I met a hamster, we got on well.