So why is it I haven't got one?
I've long thought a slogan would really help summarise everything I stand for. That's pretty much what they do, slogans. They take a feeling or a moment and force the whole thing together in a short strand of words. I could do that, that could be me.
Here's where I think a catchphrase would come in handy; imagine turning up to a meeting with a client, a coffee with a friend or a date with that girl who's been rejecting your advances for weeks, and being able to end that meeting/coffee/date with one line that sticks in that person's head. Not only would they leave thinking, "Hey, that guy has a catchphrase," but they'd also have that catchphrase with them for hours after you've departed. Brilliant! I can see absolutely no downside to this so I'm going to go ahead and create one.
But here's where the challenge comes in. A good slogan is gold, a bad one is... well... Pringles' Christmas campaign. Can't remember what the Pringles Christmas slogan was? Exactly. It needs to be catchy (catch phrase, yeah?) but also succinct, memorable and effective at getting across your desired message. Look at what some of the best ones have in common:
P-p-p-pick up a penguin.
I'm loving it.
Probably the best beer in the word.
All of them imply something, all of them suggest what it is the product wants you to do without forcing it down your throat. Pick up a penguin is as blunt as you can get, while I'm loving it and probably the best beer in the world are both far more subtle but tell you how you should be feeling. You love burgers, and yeah, all other beers are pretty rubbish now you think about it.
I want to take these principles and apply them to myself. To do this I need to know what it is I want to say. This sounds obvious but so many people don't take this into account. What did Pringles want to say? No, I have no idea either. I guess I want to say, 'Hey, look at me, I'm a writer and I don't earn all that much so if you wouldn't mind paying for some work once in a while that'd be sweet. I have an MA don't you know?' but that doesn't really fit nicely on a business card. Pity. So scrap that, let's narrow it down a bit. It needs to sell myself and what I do, meaning something about me being a writer has to stay in. Okay, check. But just saying 'I do words' won't cut it, because a lot of people do words. I need to stand out above that crowd and tell people that I do words but better. Look at how well I've done all of these words. Not one single typpo.
It's going to take longer than this blog post to decide on the right way forward, so for now I've decided on a compromise.
Ash Billinghay. I'm loving being probably the best writer in the world. Pick me up.
You'll remember that for at least 30 seconds, which is still better than Pringles.