Facebook Friends - Actual Friends
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I am ignoring you. This is blatantly rude.
I'm inviting you to an event because I want to seem popular -
I'm not inviting you to this event, because I want to seem popular.
I like that you have done something good. Well done -
I've already liked that on Facebook, stop bragging.
You look nice in that picture and liking it won't seem weird -
You look nice but telling you might give you the wrong idea
In a relationship, eh? He looks like a prick -
In a relationship, eh? I have no doubt it will work out perfectly.
Pictures of your kids? They're hideous -
Pictures of your kids? Awww look at them!
We really must go for a drink one day -
We're going for a drink. You can't escape me.
I'm friends with you because we met once and it was dark -
I'm friends with you by default, sorry.
You never spoke to me at school and until now I wasn't sure you even knew my name, but sure, we can be friends. -
You never spoke to me at school and until now I wasn't sure you even knew my name, piss off.
Happy Birthday
...it's your birthday? Your card...erm, yeah...