The other day I asked a poignant and powerful question. This question was 'Are Kingsmill paedophiles?' The overriding answer I received was 'No, shut up Ash.' So that's what I did.
But now a whole new scandal has arisen! I've got to this issue quickly because I'm pretty sure the Daily Mail will be on the case just as soon as possible and I want them to have to reference me in their no doubt completely unbiased article.
The question we HAVE to ask today is 'Do Birds Eye want our children to have sex before they are legally allowed to?' It's not something I want to talk about, it's not something society should have to deal with, but it's something that needs to be stopped before it gets out of hand. See the video below for outrageous evidence that Birds Eye might be the most evil food manufacturers in the world.
You see the problem? The food giants (and in particular that polar bear, who research has led me to learn is called Clarence) are clearly trying to convince minors that using Chicken Grills is a perfectly acceptable way to lure other minors back to your home and keep them as sex slaves.
This is diabolical. This is disgusting. This isn't making me hungry at all.
Someone needs to shut them down now before they go ahead and make the next obvious move of kidnapping our children and forcing them to have sex right in front of our eyes.
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| He even sits like a sex offender. |