I thought when I was little that by the age I am now at,
I'd be living with a girl I liked in an equally liked flat.
We'd have photos of the time we'd spent having lots of fun,
And my parents would say 'Yes, that lass is just right for our son.'
But now I am the age I am and not little any more,
It turns out I am lonely and back on my parents' floor.
I've photos of some fun but it's fun I've had with me,
Not that kind you pervert, I just mean not romantically.
It's not my fault you understand it's just the girls I've liked were strange,
They didn't fancy me at all, not for my looks or for my brains.
They said 'We should just be friends' which didn't work for me,
Because I wanted them for sex and not their personalities.
So here I am the age I am looking towards the future,
Not as convinced of finding someone, no longer all that sure.
Not really all that bothered either there is no point in chasing,
I can get all the satisfaction I need just sat here... procrastinating.
I'd like to go back to when I was little, to when I was the age I was,
And tell myself not to worry, tell myself not to fuss.
I'd like to sit me down and have a chat about how our jokes won't get the girl,
Because we live in a time where our humour's just not funny anywhere in the world.
But the younger me at the age I was would ask me just one question,
'Are you only saying this shit because you cannot get some?'
And I'd be right. Prick.
