I'm going to try working on this with excessive consumption of alcohol and maybe a minor drug addiction (choice of drug yet to be decided.)
Either that or I'm gonna find myself a girl who, for a couple of weeks at least, I think might make me happy. Ultimately she won't, the bitch, but for those initial moments the promise of it all will fill me with at least a little goodness.
Until that time comes (drug decided upon/momentary provider of happiness girl found) I think I'll just stick to my written out pouring of bitter resentment and hope that eventually I just run out of shit to care about and have no choice but to be happy.
My hopes are high.
At least they would be if the world weren't so continuously bleak.
Something like that.