I let it fill up my head until it's all I can think about. I convince myself it could become a reality.
Then, ultimately, it all goes to pot and I end up feeling like death is the better option.
I should learn.
Fortunately, for anyone who cares, I'm not that fond of sharp objects and I struggle swallowing pills so for the foreseeable future I shall remain amongst the living and will cope with my woes by whining about them to anyone willing to spare a minute.
Unfortunately, chances are that whoever that person is will enter my mind as yet another possibility of something good happening and thus the whole cycle starts again.
On the bright side I quite like cycling.
Positives.